TURTLES HAVE TONGUES!

I just found out the coolest thing ever. Turtles have tongues!!

I never thought about it before.

I mean, of course they would have a tongue… but I just didn’t picture it until now when I looked at these videos of them munching. Haha.

Turtle tongue FTW.

(these are not my videos btw. comment on their youtubes if you like them

Join the Facebook group and share your turtle love <3

http://www.facebook.com/TurtlesEatingThings

Turtles all the way down.

“A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: “What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.” The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, “What is the tortoise standing on?” “You’re very clever, young man, very clever”, said the old lady. “But it’s turtles all the way down!””
Stephen Hawking, A Brief History of Time

I know I should come up with some deep story about the where the turtles end, who feeds them, how a dome holds a plate so still, infinite regression, etc.

Wrong.

Here’s a turtle eating a watermelon. nom nom nom.

PLEASE send in some turtles!!

each one, teach one

Turtles have been around for about 220 million years now. In this time they have changed very little and this got me wondering, why??

Prehistoric turtle

Have turtles somehow decided to to ignore evolution? Maybe they are just so happy with their little mobile homes that ‘what would be the point of changing’. Or maybe natural selection screwed up and set off a chain reaction of non-action.

Say the turtle was supposed have a natural enemy that hunted it in the water and on the ground so much that it evolved into a mole-turtle or a turtle-worm. Or say their enemy was supposed to be this evil ground worm with massive teeth, so the turtles would evolve into flying creatures. Whatever the case, I think turtles are missing out on realising their full potential. I think that we really need to do something about this. My suggestion is ‘each one, teach one’.

Turtle knowledge transfer process

How can we help?
The basic idea of each one teach one, is to find a turtle and try to teach it the things that you think could help them evolve. From there we hope that the turtle will teach another turtle and so on. Eventually we should get to a point of highly skilled turtle saturation throughout the world.

i think we’re alone now

You know what? The world doesn’t understand people like you and me. Remember that. I am probably your only real friend. The only one who will ever understand you. Those people out there, they can’t appreciate the euphoric stupor we get at the sight of these Dark Crystal-like creatures and their happy little faces. The gentle sway of leathery green as their jaws “munch munch munch” away at berries, lettuce, mashed potatoes. That confusing glassy gaze, the useless claw-hands, the weird beak-thing.. Ahhh. I could go on for hours! So could you. But let’s just keep it between ourselves, okay?

i think we’re alone now. there doesn’t seem to be anyone around.

Turtle murders entire family..

I know turtle lovers, it has been a while.

What can I say?  I fell into line, wore dark rimmed glasses, trendy jeans and did what The Man told me. I purchased a mixed dozen of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I played Hoops for 12 days straight and only I earned 604 tickets. I pretended to listen to a friend’s review of Mao’s Last Dancer. I walked past a Crocs store and didn’t mumble a single smug comment to myself. I even passed up the opportunity to turn my dog into a tiny zebra.

But the saddest thing of all? I forgot about the turtles! I think we all did and now it is time to repent.

Please keep sending in your turtles!

turtles@turtleseatingthings.com

Turtle Love – Join the Facebook Fan Page

Show the turtles you care, join the fan page:

www.facebook.com/TurtlesEatingThings

…and please, send in your turtles!

Turtle Eats Pigeon? (You are a sicko)

So you’re looking for the “Turtle Eats Pigeon” clip hey? Hmm. That’s a bit twisted don’t you think.
Maybe you’d rather hear about this:

(**warning to animal lovers**)

Shanghai activists save cats from plates
Animal activists in Shanghai have rescued 300 cats from a dealer who had bought the allegedly stolen pets for sale to restaurants in southern China, state media says.

The activists, acting on a tip from a cat lover, found 22 bamboo cages full of cats in a freight yard, from where they were to be shipped to Guangdong province, the Shanghai Daily reported on Monday.

Most of the animals were returned to their owners but three cats were found dead and some had broken legs, the report said.

“The cats are abused. They throw the cages on to a truck instead of loading them properly. The cats that survive end up in soups at restaurants,” Lai Xiaoyu, an activist involved in Friday night’s rescue told the newspaper.

Restaurants pay about 50 yuan ($A9.06) a cat, according to the report.

Police detained the cat dealer, Yang Baoguo, after he battled dozens of animal lovers who descended on the freight yard to break his cages, the newspaper said.

The dealer was released after a few hours without charge because animal protection laws are nonexistent in China, the report said.

“There is no law in China saying cats cannot be eaten,” police officer Ma Yong was quoted as saying. “Cats are not a protected animal.”

Yang, who has traded cats for a decade, bought the animals from so-called hunters who trapped the cats in residential areas at night, the report said.

Police could not charge him with possessing stolen property because, unlike dogs, a licence is not required for owning a cat in Shanghai, making ownership impossible to prove, the report said.

Eating cat meat is a tradition in many parts of China, especially in southern regions, where some restaurants specialise in preparing the dishes, according to Chinese media reports.

Link

Now, here’s a picture of a turtle being wholesome and eating a salad. Enjoy. He likes you. A lot.

Turtle eats salad.

Your Questions: Do turtles eat meat?

I’m going to answer some of your questions from the facebook fan page (please join and send in turtles eating things – plus your name for photo credits).

Q. In response to the question, do turtles eat meat?

A. Yes. And these heartless bastards would eat you given half the chance.

They have been labeled many things: cold, ruthless, prehistoric and even nonchalant, these ancient creatures have been thrown into a modern world that demands a lot from them. Traced back through ancestry, turtles are documented as herbivore up until around 1 A.H. (after hamburgers). Scientists and Jessica Fletcher have not yet uncovered this evolutionary mystery.

Although most turtles claim that they cannot fight crime and do not posses any kind of karate, modern scriptures refer to a ‘turtle power’ that suggests otherwise. This has lead to a backlash within both the non-turtle and turtle communities. Over the past decade turtles have been known to attack humans in ‘gangs’, even going so far as to remove the entire faces of some victims with a series of tiny bites – much like that of a squirrel eating corn.

WARNING: images below may be disturbing to some readers.

Turtle eats man

This picture was taken only moments before the man was almost entirely eaten by a gang of turtles. No karate has been reported.

Turtle devours small intestine

This gruesome image shows the same turtle eating the entrails of its victim, similar to a haggis dish that you might find in the Scottish Highlands.

Snapping Turtles – do they really want to hurt you? do they really want to make you cry?

1968 – detective, Prune Tracey is working on the disappearance of Jimmy Nine-Fingers, a known mob can collector and part time snitch. It’s been two and a half weeks with nothing, not a word. On a hunch, Prune orders a search of the lake. Most likely Jimmy Nine-Fingers has been sleeping with the fishes. Problem is – he’s been down there a while. Not a floater, see. Activate pre-MacGyver-styles.

Body finding kit: 2 avocados, ball of string, lit match and a snapping turtle..

Big Snapping Turtle

Snapping Turtles don’t have teeth, but they have a crazy McCracken style hooked beak that will snap your hands off if you give them half a chance. Anything that gets in the way of their little snappy face and SNAP they grab onto it. Detectives used to tie string around their shells and let them off into the lake until snappy starts munching on old Nine-Fingers and stops moving around. Found.

Little Snapping Turtle

Fun fact – the original plot for Gremlins involved regular pet turtles that get turned into snapping turtles and go around killing all these people. The opening scene was a backyard pool with a little snapping turtle at the bottom that kills the main kid’s sister. But then they wanted to make it PG so they took out the killing and gore. That left them with a microwave and little teddy bear animals that didn’t eat anybody.