Turtles Eating Things

Posts Tagged ‘turtles’

Turtle rave

This little guy is rocking out with his shell out.

*I have been assured that the toothbrush is not hurting him, it’s just like getting back scratches.

Snapping Turtles – do they really want to hurt you? do they really want to make you cry?

1968 – detective, Prune Tracey is working on the disappearance of Jimmy Nine-Fingers, a known mob can collector and part time snitch. It’s been two and a half weeks with nothing, not a word. On a hunch, Prune orders a search of the lake. Most likely Jimmy Nine-Fingers has been sleeping with the fishes. Problem is – he’s been down there a while. Not a floater, see. Activate pre-MacGyver-styles.

Body finding kit: 2 avocados, ball of string, lit match and a snapping turtle..

Snapping Turtles don’t have teeth, but they have a crazy McCracken style hooked beak that will snap your hands off if you give them half a chance. Anything that gets in the way of their little snappy face and SNAP they grab onto it. Detectives used to tie string around their shells and let them off into the lake until snappy starts munching on old Nine-Fingers and stops moving around. Found.

Fun fact – the original plot for Gremlins involved regular pet turtles that get turned into snapping turtles and go around killing all these people. The opening scene was a backyard pool with a little snapping turtle at the bottom that kills the main kid’s sister. But then they wanted to make it PG so they took out the killing and gore. That left them with a microwave and little teddy bear animals that didn’t eat anybody.

Zombie Turtles: Worldwide Takeover?

Flocks of Zombie Turtles are on a worldwide rampage this morning, seemingly sparked on by a a brief televised message involving a well known Zombie leader.

Warning: do not show this message to any turtles.

Horrific images are flooding in from around the globe of ravenous turtles eating anything that crosses their path.

We’ll update you as the story develops.

Turtles become self aware

August 29th, 1997 at 2:14 a.m. (Eastern time), Turtles become self aware.

And by that, I mean they learn how to not need opposable digits to eat things. Essentially, they surpass the Human race at eating.

At this point all that I can recommend is that you have your ‘Go Bag’ ready and you know the way to a ladder with your eyes closed. Turtles are not yet accomplished at the ladder. May wizards protect you and yours.

i like to watch turtles eating things

i love pictures of turtles eating things. i am not sure why, but i do.
sometimes i like images of lizards or dinosaurs eating things – but mostly just turtles.
i know i am not weird or alone or anything. people like to see this stuff.

here are some good ones…

this turtle is eating mashed potatoes. he comes from a time when mashed potatoes were a staple of life. he has a mashed potato house, mashed potato shoes, a mashed potato tv and mashed potato general headache medicine.