Turtles Eating Things

Your Questions: Do turtles eat meat?

I’m going to answer some of your questions from the facebook fan page (please join and send in turtles eating things – plus your name for photo credits).

Q. In response to the question, do turtles eat meat?

A. Yes. And these heartless bastards would eat you given half the chance.

They have been labeled many things: cold, ruthless, prehistoric and even nonchalant, these ancient creatures have been thrown into a modern world that demands a lot from them. Traced back through ancestry, turtles are documented as herbivore up until around 1 A.H. (after hamburgers). Scientists and Jessica Fletcher have not yet uncovered this evolutionary mystery.

Although most turtles claim that they cannot fight crime and do not posses any kind of karate, modern scriptures refer to a ‘turtle power’ that suggests otherwise. This has lead to a backlash within both the non-turtle and turtle communities. Over the past decade turtles have been known to attack humans in ‘gangs’, even going so far as to remove the entire faces of some victims with a series of tiny bites – much like that of a squirrel eating corn.

WARNING: images below may be disturbing to some readers.

Turtle eats man

This picture was taken only moments before the man was almost entirely eaten by a gang of turtles. No karate has been reported.

Turtle devours small intestine

This gruesome image shows the same turtle eating the entrails of its victim, similar to a haggis dish that you might find in the Scottish Highlands.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 26th, 2009 at 2:50 am and is filed under turtles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.